'AGE CANNOT WITHER HER'

(from Punch, 28th March 1906).

Demurely full of girlish tricks
And dimpled with a pouting smile,
The modern crone of sixty-six
Must now be reckoned juvenile.
Her pearly teeth and satin cheek
Are made to match her youthful brow,
And only ill-bred persons speak
About the middle ages now.

Oh! Mrs.A. and Madame X.,
Who boom the Bond Street beauty cult,
To think that for such trifling cheques
You guarantee this brave result.
How do those operating hands
Restore 'lost tone' to wrinkled dames,
And fit the fashion that demands
Old pictures in enamelled frames?

Should any lady think her hair
Suggests too much the autumn tints,
She does not in the least despair,
But follows your attractive hints.
By apt adulteration's aid
Some artful spirit brings again
The latest fashionable shade-
A rare oasis in the plain.

Those subtle touches never fail
To smooth away the marriage-lines;
The sallow cheek so sere and pale,
A guinea rouge incarnadines;
And oh, how sweet must be the thrill
That penetrates a grateful soul,
When the divine electric drill
Eradicates some horrid mole!

To what a pitch of high content
That matron's ardent spirits rose,
When the 'Proboscis' instrument
Equiped her with a Grecian nose!
And how some hearts have yearned to buy
Those patent 'Straps' for flabby skins,
That not uncharitably try
To hide a multitude of chins.

Nor does the mode in which your days
Are spent, dear ladies, cause offence;
To thoughtful minds your latest phase
Betrays the hand of Providence;
For though this beauty-culture fad
Has gone, perhaps, a bit too far,
T'would make the brightest of us sad
To see you as you really are!

MOTHERHOOD. Two contrasting views.

.
A MOTHER'S SACRIFICE  (from Punch 1909).

.... To a Suffragette, who on being brought before the Magistrate, made the following statement, according to the Daily Telegraph.
"I have a little son, eight months old, and his father and I decided, after calm consideration, that when that boy grew up he might ask 'What did you do mother, in the days of women's agitation, to lay women's grievances before the Prime Minister?' and I should blush if I had to say I made no attempt to go to the P.M."

And so, this boy of yours, years hence perusing
Records of women wronged by man-made laws,
May ask, an eager flush his face suffusing,
'What did you do to help the Women's Cause?'

If, when this searching question has arisen
You answer 'Nothing' , picture his surprise!
T'were better to endure the pains of prison
Than face the scorn in those reproving eyes.

Let it be his to hear the tale - and may be
It will not lose through being often told-
How you renounced your husband, home, and baby,
When he (the last named) was but eight months old.

Such be your answer!  Yet, O happy mother,
Is this the only question you foresee?
What will you say, suppose he asks another:-
'Meanwhile, dear Parent, who looked after me?'

   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

MY TREASURES
(From 'Woman's World' - The Journal for Every Lady.
 One Penny.  1909.  )

My children, how many? Why bless you there's four
Two rollicking fun-loving boys
Who always give Mamma enough work to do
But working is one of my joys.

Dear Ruby, who 'helps Mamma lots' in her way,
And my baby so winning and sweet,
Bright jewels, adorning my wifehood's crown
In a house where angels may meet.

At the close of the day, I sit down beside
My baby, to lull her to sleep,
In sweet dreams of childhood the others repose,
Kind Father, Thy watch o'er them keep.

You ask am I worried with trouble and care
Ah no, it is restful and sweet
To be the fond mother of blossoms so fair,
To guide in the right their young feet.

Would I wish to exchange?  Not for kingdom or crown
Nor for all of your wealth, and your pleasures.
You keep your fair hands, and your couches of down,
I'll keep, what is best, my four treasures.

“Woman at Home” – 1910

Mr. Charles Garvice on – ‘The Qualities I Most Admire in a Woman’

“ …Woman is always hankering to protect and comfort her man as a mother watches over and shields her infant; and it is the woman who possesses this quality to the largest extent who appeals to us men most effectually……..

… I have to say that I am not particularly attracted by clever women; quite between ourselves, I have the fatuous idea that I can bring into the firm all the cleverness that’s necessary. I am trying to be clever all day, and when I go home to dinner I want a nice woman , who will listen while I talk; never, oh never, want to argue, and who will murmur at proper intervals ‘Yes dear, of course!’ ; ‘You’re right dearest’ and ‘How nicely you put it darling!’. And I am ready to reward her by letting her sit on the second best chair in my den, and mend my socks, and enlarge my waistcoats, while I smoke, and talk, and read to her ….’